i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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