I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
