Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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