i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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