My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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