ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
