So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
