when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
