If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize