she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
