Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize