Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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