Soap is not a condiment
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
