My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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