Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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