Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
