you would pick up someone in the library
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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