PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Terrible idea I love it
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
