Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
