oh god the rape fog is back!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize