just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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