She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
