i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
