i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
