You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
