I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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