i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Randomize
