and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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