look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
