so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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