I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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