haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
