Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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