The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize