i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
