I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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