I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
