Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
