Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize