You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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