so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
