Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Randomize
