doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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