Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
