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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
