Where did you get a picture of my penis
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
