Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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