tonight lets celebrate not being married
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
