i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
