a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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