ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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