I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
