I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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