i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
