Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Duck Duck Cougar?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
