You made me cry and you don't even care
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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