Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
