theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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