His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
