Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
