i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
