was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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