Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
